I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize