Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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