"it" just moved
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
