You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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