My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
