yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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