dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
