You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
