You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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