How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
