dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
