Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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