If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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