Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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