about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
