I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
