As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
