i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so let's talk penis.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
