So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
