I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my being single is dangerous.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
