How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize