What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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