I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
