i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize