wrigley field is MILF paradise
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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