U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
