Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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