My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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