I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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