There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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