yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
