so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We're too hungover to prance.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
