Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
