Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
