so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
