wat bout pragnant strippers??
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You took a bar mat shot.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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