I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
