but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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