Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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