Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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