A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Say something about gay babies.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
