her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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