I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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