Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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