you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my being single is dangerous.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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