JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
