Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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