I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
