Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just high enough for therapy.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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