Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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