Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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