I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
