he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
