sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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