i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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