they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
try to milk me bitch
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
