is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
