I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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