I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
