Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
